this is hilarious

i did not write this i found it online........lily  sorry if u r mad

How to Order Pizza if You are Stranded in the Wilderness

1. When stranded in the middle of the wilderness, many struggle to find food to survive. Stop wasting your time trying to find food when you can just order some pizza!

 Steps

2. First, find a nice and safe area to sit down and make some shelter.

3. Get out your cell phone and dial your local pizza parlor for home delivery, but instead, just tell them that you are stranded in the middle of the wilderness so that the delivery person can just drive over to where you are at to deliver the pizza to you.

 Tips

* Always say "Thank you" after you've received your pizza from the delivery person.

* Don't forget to ask about side orders such as bread sticks and other stuff.

* Don't waste your cell phone battery talking to your friends while stranded. Because your gonna need the remaining cell phone battery to call for some help to be rescued, and/or order for more pizza.

 Warnings

* Always stash away your trash after you've finished eating to avoid attracting wild animals like bears, wolves, hungry wild cave people, and even wild trolls.

* This manual will not work if you have not got your cell phone with you.
* Your cell phone may not be able to catch a good signal while deep in the wilderness. But always have hope and keep trying to retain a signal. I did not write this.from  lily......